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Simon Sez

Play trailer Poster for Simon Sez PG-13 1999 1h 22m Action Comedy Play Trailer Watchlist
Watchlist Tomatometer Popcornmeter
0% Tomatometer 19 Reviews 16% Popcornmeter 2,500+ Ratings
Interpol agent Simon (Dennis Rodman) is gathering information about the weapons trade on the French Riviera and trying to pinpoint the man at its center. Meanwhile, Nick (Dane Cook) -- an old classmate of Simon's -- asks him for help. Nick needs to rescue his employer's daughter, who appears to have been kidnapped by the same people Simon is tracking down. The pair must get to the bottom of the increasingly dangerous situation with the help of two monks and a feisty woman.
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Simon Sez

Simon Sez

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Critics Consensus

Simon Sez no matter how starved you are for something to watch, there has to be a better option than this dreadfully misguided action thriller.

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Critics Reviews

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Nathan Rabin AV Club Aug 3, 2009
Dennis Rodman may be a great rebounder, but as a pop-culture icon, he's a one-trick pony. Go to Full Review Joe Leydon Variety Jun 17, 2008
A frenetically junky action adventure that will quickly dribble off to vid stores after a token fast break in theatrical release. Go to Full Review Lawrence Van Gelder New York Times May 20, 2003
1.5/5
Neither the Rivera scenery nor the martial arts of Xiong Xin Xin, much less the automotive stunts attributable to Remy Julienne, can lift Simon Sez beyond the very ordinary. Go to Full Review Daniel Barnes Dare Daniel Mar 26, 2020
1/5
A superspy action-comedy too brain-dead to even qualify as a James Bond knockoff. Go to Full Review Maitland McDonagh TV Guide Aug 3, 2009
1/4
This on-the-cheap action thriller appears to exist purely as a showcase for the limited talents of self-created caricature Dennis Rodman, who in turn clearly needs to exploit himself while the exploiting is good. Go to Full Review Chris Gore Film Threat Dec 6, 2005
0.5/5
It's as painful to watch as Rodman's star-posturing interviews. Go to Full Review Read all reviews

Audience Reviews

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Stephen C @bob25009 Aug 31, 2025 Funny in 1 hour and 22 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The USA grossed over $292,200.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Filmed in 1999 in color!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ages 13 and older!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dubbed and subtitled in worldwide studios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See more Michael S @RT33589214 Jun 4, 2025 Straight Garbage! Respectfully See more Steve D @RT35616104 Sep 23, 2023 Unbelievably bad but not because of Rodman. See more Nov 27, 2020 "Simon Sez" no matter how starved you are for something to watch, there has to be a better option than this dreadfully misguided action thriller. Bring in The Flamin' Medallion Of True Terrible-Ness. Characters: 0/5 Story: 0/5 Acting: 0/5 Special Effects: 0/5 Direction: 0/5 Cinematography: 0/5 Soundtrack: 0/5 Overall: 0/5 See more Sep 16, 2020 OH, JESUS F***! This movie should have never been made. No matter how starved you are for somethin' to watch, there's gotta be a better option than this flop. For starters, Dennis Rodman may be good at basketball, but on film, he's just a one-trick pony. And if he actually made a profit, Rodman ain't gettin' nothin'. After a token fast break in theaters, "Simon Sez" just dribbled over to video stores. But Simon says "Avoid this misguided 'Die Hard' knock-off." For experts, just avoid this. IMO, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, should avoid this ultra depressed thriller that tries, and fails, to be James Bond. You want spy films? Watch 007 movies, nothin' wrong with that. See more Jan 2, 2017 another so bad it's good classic See more Read all reviews
Simon Sez

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Cast & Crew

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Kevin Alyn Elders

Director

Dennis Rodman

Simon

Dane Cook

Nick Miranda

Natalia Cigliuti

Claire Fence

Filip Nikolic

Michael Gabrielli

John Pinette

Micro

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Simon Sez

A scene from the film SIMON SEZ. A scene from the film SIMON SEZ. A scene from the film SIMON SEZ. A scene from the film SIMON SEZ. A scene from the film SIMON SEZ. A scene from the film SIMON SEZ. A scene from the film SIMON SEZ. A scene from the film SIMON SEZ. A scene from the film SIMON SEZ. Simon Sez (1999) View more photos

Movie Info

Synopsis Interpol agent Simon (Dennis Rodman) is gathering information about the weapons trade on the French Riviera and trying to pinpoint the man at its center. Meanwhile, Nick (Dane Cook) -- an old classmate of Simon's -- asks him for help. Nick needs to rescue his employer's daughter, who appears to have been kidnapped by the same people Simon is tracking down. The pair must get to the bottom of the increasingly dangerous situation with the help of two monks and a feisty woman.
Director
Kevin Alyn Elders
Producer
Moshe Diamant
Screenwriter
Moshe Diamant, Rudy Cohen, Andrew Miller, Andrew Lowery
Distributor
Independent Artists
Production Co
Global Entertainment Productions
Rating
PG-13
Genre
Action, Comedy
Original Language
English
Release Date (Theaters)
Sep 24, 1999, Original
Release Date (Streaming)
May 25, 2011
Box Office (Gross USA)
$292.2K
Runtime
1h 22m
Sound Mix
Surround, SDDS, Dolby Digital
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